Why Do Men Abuse Women?



After reading passage "Personal and Institutional Responses to Intimate Violence" in Chapter 7 of Newman's Sociology, I did some research on abuse within intimate relationships. The question that repeatedly came up was "why do women stay in abusive relationships?" The text provides many reasons:  Being emotionally, physically, or economically trapped; fear; and lack of assistance and public resources (Newman 214) A quick web search provided hundreds of articles and blogs on this topic. However, the question I feel we should be asking  is why do men abuse girlfriends/wives? And how can we prevent it in the first place?

According to The Better Health Channel's website, many abusers hurt women to control them. They feel it is their right and that they can behave how they choose in their own homes. Some men use violence to stress that they are the head of the household.  Drugs and alcohol can also play a role:  In about half of reported domestic abuse cases, the perpetrator is intoxicated. 

To add to the problem, men are likely to resist accepting help in dealing with anger problems. Some think that masculinity means being strong and silent and that accepting help is weak or feminine. Others believe that they are not at fault-- that the provoker had it coming.

Now that we know some reasons behind it, how can it be prevented? I didn't have much luck finding resources about prevention, but it's my opinion that talking to kids about the consequences of hurting others is key and then keeping the dialogue open throughout adolescence and adulthood.  As a woman, I've had ideas pounded into my head for years on how to avoid being hurt by men:  Carry pepper spray, walk away when he gets angry, tell someone if he hurts you, etc.  But I don't think the reverse is being pounded into young male brains. Parents need to teach boys the consequences of hurting others; boys also need to know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

Abuse is, unfortunately, a part of many peoples' lives.  I chose to talk about men abusing female partners, but, as Newman's Sociology points out, abuse can happen to anyone for so many reasons. I truly believe that teaching our children respect and leading by example can make a huge difference in their choices to abuse or not abuse others.

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Domestic_violence_why_men_abuse_women?open

Newman, David. Sociology. Ed 8. 2010.

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