Social Norms

Social norms are, according to Newman, "culturally defined rules of conduct." He goes on to explain that social norms specify what people are supposed to do in each situation. In my social norms experiment, I violated a couple simple norms.

For my first experiment, I sat too far from my boyfriend in our post-work conversation.  As he sat in the living room telling me about his day, I sat at the kitchen table. As he talked, I nodded my head and was very engaged in what he was saying, as if we were right next to each other.  At first, I could tell he didn't notice, but throughout the conversation he seemed more and more confused. Finally he asked "Why are you sitting out there?" Then I explained the experiment to him. When I asked him what he had been thinking, he said it just seemed "a little off." He explained that it's normal for us to talk that way if I'm in the kitchen cooking or doing homework but not if I'm just sitting out there.

For my next experiment, I asked detailed questions about the common phrase "See you later."  My mom was in town visiting my sister, who just had a baby, so I tried it out on her. She was very busy helping my sister and spending time with the baby, so she didn't have much time to talk. When I told her I was going to go home, she said, "Okay, see you later." I asked her when later was, and she said "Maybe in a couple hours." Then I asked her what we were going to be doing in a couple hours, and she seemed annoyed. She said she didn't know. When I asked it about her later, she laughed and said she couldn't figure out why I was so concerned. She said it seemed especially weird because I live right next door to my sister; there's really no need to make plans because we just stop in at eachothers' houses.

Social norms help us know what's appropriate to do. Some of them don't really make sense, they're just "what we do," but I find them comforting: I always know what's appropriate. The experiment made me think of how difficult it would be for someone of a different culture with different norms to behave "normally" here.  It also made me wonder if any little social norms are universal. The norms that I chose to break were simple, but it was still uncomfortable. I think I'll stick to the norms.

Anyone who loves fishing like I do knows all about this norm!

Newman, David. Sociology: Exploring the Architecture of Everyday Life. Ed 8. 2010.

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